Since we eat dinner at the orphanage every night now, there hasn't been much need for cooking---and it's a good thing because I don't have a stove or microwave---only a refrigerator. But that's fine. We're happy with fruit, juice, milk, cereal, bread and cheese. Alex and I stop for ice cream bars every night on the way home from the orphanage, so we're getting all the necessities of life.
Yesterday I searched the internet to see if I couldn't find something a little more exciting to do. I had to laugh when the site, "Best Things to Do in Feodosiya, Ukraine," said, "Sorry, there are no things to do in Feodosiya." This is a resort town located on the Black Sea which probably has many activities during the summer, but we'll be leaving just before that starts.
Alex and Eli couldn't be happier and would love to spend the entire summer here. Every morning they head over to school or off to a field with abandoned buildings and they just play. Even doing nothing is fun if you have someone (who speaks your language) to do it with.
I've been thinking a lot about how I could help a couple of the older kids I love so much who will leaving our orphanage this fall. Have any of you had experience trying set up some way to do this? Is there something that would be more effective than just sending them money periodically? Is there a way to set up a fund they could access when needed that is only accessible if certain performance requirements are met? How would that be monitored? Would it make sense to help them start some kind of a business? Would it make sense to educate them in America and then send them back to run a business or monitor a fund? Could they get student visas as orphans? Would it make sense to provide a place for them to live if certain standards were met? Maybe with a couple to act as house mother and father.
Eli's phone ran out of minutes this morning, so he asked if he did 50 push-ups if I'd give him 50 grn. I laughed because I already planned to give it to him--but only if he let me take his picture. He's so buff it only took him 2 minutes.
I'm worried about what Alex and Eli could be getting into with their old friends. I'm sure many of them are familiar with using drugs. Just be careful. Love you Supermom.
ReplyDeleteThe kids need life skills that they lack due to their backgrounds. Money is only a secondary need. Without any skills they wouldn't know what to do with it. I know a man who sponsored a girl (and is actually very active in helping orphans in general in similar situations) who got pregnant right as she 'graduated' from the orphanage. He paid for two years of living expenses for her and her child, found her a place to live, helped her get a job, and kept tabs on her. Two years later, her flat is in shambles, she now has two children instead of just the one and both are in danger of being taken from her. She did not have the skills she needed to be able to parent or even survive on her own. She didn't know how to do laundry, cook, grocery shop, clean, make good decisions, etc. It goes way beyond needing money, unfortunately. Money is certainly necessary, but only a bandaid. I'm sure though that their are some kids that would be able to handle money than others. Even though I know all of that, I still send money to some of the kids at random times hoping that at least they know that someone cares and that maybe they'll by some food with it. It's too hard to just sit back and go on with the rest of your life without doing something. You cannot host orphans on a student visa. The idea of a house with a couple to act as mother and father would be ideal. The kids need someone to have as a role model, along with someone willing to teach them things and expect things from them, even if it is as simple as making their bed or helping with dinner preparations. There are houses like this in Ukraine, but not many of them. And like all things, you can't make the kids choose success. Even with money and a place to stay and a job, sometimes that doesn't make it work either. You had mentioned River of Joy last year, have you found out any more about them? It's great that you are back in Ukraine and wanting to help the kids:) You are awesome. Congrats on your newest addition, she is darling:)
ReplyDeleteI am laughing at the "There is nothing to do...." part of this blog.
ReplyDeleteAre you nervous about your boys hanging with their pack after such a short time in your home? It would make me nervous. Of course not now, Alex can't speak a lick - but it would be interesting to see if he could pick it up quickly.
I hope you find something to pass the time. Relaxation is nice. Bored to tears is torture!
You are so awesome to be doing an encore in Ukraine. I agree with Stephanie that money is a bandaid. With the mentality that the kids seen to have,, if they get money they will spend it as fast as they can (usually on junk) because they have been trained to consume anything of value as fast as possible before it is taken from them by the older kids. Having money or stuff makes them a target for being beat up or taken advantage of. What the kids really need is skills. Maybe since you enjoy Ukraine so much :) you could go back there on a mission and host a half way house. I think that if you get bored enough, you could teach some little informal classes to the kids and try to inspire them to get some skills that will help them survive. The problem is that most of the kids don't have the foresight that they need to want to learn how to speak English, or learn entrepreneurial skills so they can start a business, or learning the responsibility they will need to save enough money to buy food for the whole month or pay rent etc. maybe if you had a reality check discussion with the kids and ask them how they are going to make it on their own and try to help them understand that it will be up to them and that no one will be there to tell them what to do or pay for them and provide for them. Probably one of the best things that you could do is to try to find the older kids a surrogate family in Ukraine that can watch over them a little and keep you posted. Teach them how to email or skype you so you can keep in touch and encourage them and give them advice later.
ReplyDeleteI hope your life gets more exciting but not because you have drama. Best wishes for happy days ahead.
Christy Hinkson